A long semester...

I know, I know. I haven't written here in months. I've been meaning to... it's been hard.

This has been a surprisingly difficult semester in a ton of completely unexpected ways. Being home has given me the chance to begin to process everything that has happened and begin to heal from it. I have also finally been able to think about some theological issues I've been questioning and will soon get the chance to actually dialogue with someone about them. I have been so homesick this semester, and am glad to be home so that I can relax and face what needs to be faced instead of continuing to push it aside because I have no time or energy to deal with it.

Now I have that time and energy, and will be able to head back to Gordon refreshed because hopefully by January 16 I will have had enough time to put myself back together. This is my chance to let God take me apart, break me down, test me and then put me back together in a place I am safe and whole. Have your way Lord, have your way. You're the Potter, I'm the clay.

How He Loves!

"He is jealous for me. He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His love and mercy."

I love this visual. I can also now appreciate the metaphor a little bit more in depth after experiencing, well, a tropical storm. It was supposed to be a hurricane, but Irene had weakened by the time she hit us. Something that I noticed during the storm though, something I hadn't ever realized while singing this song before; the high winds tear branches, leaves, needles and anything else that is remotely dead off of a tree. It tears some living things too, but it is really quite refining. There are these dead or mostly dead branches that are just hanging on to the tree sucking up water and energy from the tree, but not giving anything back. These are forcibly torn off. Like gold in a fire, the wind cleans the trees.

Sometimes, we aren't focused on God. We focus on things of this world, things that take and take but give nothing back. God gets jealous for us and sends a hurricane of his love and mercy to tear off our burdens and distractions, to refocus us on Him. It isn't usually comfortable (some of those trees were bent almost sideways) but as long as you have deep roots, you will not be toppled.

Let it rain on me, Lord. Let it rain.

A Promise

I'm scared. I don't know what the future will hold and it sucks. I'm very much the type of person who needs to have things planned out, schedules written down and a step-by-step process with important things like my life. Not knowing what my life will consist of once I graduate college (heck, not knowing what will happen tomorrow) scares me. I don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable. I know that God has a plan for me, but what if I screw it up? That can happen. I can choose a plan other than God's plan to prosper me and give me hope. I have free will. What if I somehow screw it all up?

Then today I was reminded of a story. There was this really great, awesome man of God. God actually straight up told this guy how awesomely great his life was going to be and how everyone was going to remember him. And you know what he did? He went and slept with a woman who wasn't his wife and had her husband killed. King David, a man after God's own heart, a man who could see prosperity, who had everything he needed, took more than was his to take. But here is the cool part; God forgave him and still worked his plan through David. David messed up. He turned from God's promises, but God didn't turn from David.

God has given me a promise too. He has promised to give me a future, a promise to prosper me and not to harm me. A promise for hope. I might stray, although I pray that I stay on course. Either way, God's promise is good. God is good. And I need never fear.

Weakness

At camp this last summer I won the scavenger hunt! I also managed to scratch myself up pretty badly. It also just so happened that it was the first day of camp, so the rest of camp I had to be careful not to reopen the cuts, which were pretty bad. Even with my care and caution, I still opened them a few times and bled through the bandages many times. I realized pretty quickly that I'm not invincible like I seemed to think I was. In fact, I can't really do anything on my own; I can't heal my cuts, I can't stop myself from aging, heck, I can't even make my hair grow faster! I am not in control. Yet I somehow think that I am. Somehow, I have this delusion that I can do anything. The Bible asks, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? " The answer, of course, is none of us. None of us can do it alone. None of us are as in control as we like to think.  My scars from the week at camp remind me of that every day.

Ohh herrroww

Hi! I kept meaning to update this, but alas, life got in the way. UPDATES! I finished my freshman year at Gordon College (whooohooo!!), I am back in Kansas for now working at the pool and taking an online May Term. I will be in Chicago in 2 weeks and couldn't be more excited. My roommate and a few other friends got back from La Vida the other day, which makes me miss my trip an awful lot. My little camera broke, but I'm back here with my mom's nice camera, which is  plus. And mom got home from her missions trip in China last week! Always a really good thing :)

So I don't have much to write today, but I promise, I'm getting back on the blog!

Easter Sunday

It is a story we all know well. It makes for a good movie, and has been made into more than one. Taken, Man on Fire, Seven Pounds, and Finding Nemo are all based on this concept. Many, many more movies are as well, but these are just a few. Stories of a father or father figure doing all that he can to rescue someone he loves. Two of these movies the rescuer must die in order to save the life. In none of them, however, does the savior come back to life.

That is where the greatest story of all differs.

Our Savior searched for us, went through Hell to rescue us, found us and then died for us. But it didn't end there as many stories do. As soon as the rescue takes place, the loved one is freed, the movie ends. For us as humans, we keep getting back into trouble. We lose our way, wander off, get kidnapped by our sin. Instead of continuously rescuing us, Jesus paid the ultimate price and died for us. And then He rose back to life.

He is Risen!

Encouragement

Day 39

While running the triathlon last weekend, I wasn't exactly the fastest person there. I actually got passed. More than once. Frequently. But, when people would pass me, some of them cheered me on, rooted for me and encouraged me. When I passed people who were standing on the side of the road, they also frequently cheered me on.

The next day, Sunday, I had small group. Our leaders of the week decided that for our group time, we were going to each write our name on a piece of paper, then pass the papers around. On each piece of paper, you wrote an encouraging note to whoevers paper it was. Later that night when I got my paper back, I had 9 encouraging messages on my paper.

Last night I was upset about some things that I can't see ever working out in the future. My friends reached out to me and through a process that included cuddling, smacking me and using encouraging words, I got out of the funk I had fallen into.

I am such a words of affirmation person. I love encouragement. I wouldn't be able to survive without it. None of us should.


Hebrews 3:13
"But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

Triathlon (and Pain revisited)

Today, I ran a triathlon. It didn't actually kill me as much as I thought it would, but I might limp for a while yet. I rocked the swimming part, then threw on clothes and hopped on my borrowed mountain bike to hit the road. Oops. Everyone else had nice road bikes, and most passed me pretty easily. My thighs burned and I got fairly discouraged. Even though I knew I was doing this for myself and not for anyone else, it wasn't the best feeling to be passed repeatedly by others faster than me.
But while I was being passed, a few people took time to encourage me, to tell me I was doing well and cheer me on. Although I'm not sure if I believed it, it helped some. Plus, if you remember last year on the 4th of July I wrote about Pain, you'll remember that I had just run a 5k and reflecting back on hurt; physical and spiritual. Today, while I did feel pain, I also felt something else. Endurance. Support. The ability to push through.

How did I get from extreme pain and slight hopelessness after a 5k to the ability to do a sprint triathlon? I trained. I intentionally disciplined myself in preparation for the pain I knew was on the way. I trained myself for the hardships I knew I was going to face. I made myself ready.

So why don't I do that for my faith?

I could go from limping around in my faith, having it shaken by a slight breeze, to being able to endure, persevere and push through the hardships God is putting me through... if I trained. Reading my Bible, going to church, having small group... they're all well and good, and completely necessary, but so is walking to class. I need to walk to class to get there, and it burns calories too, but I can't train for a triathlon that way. Nor can I build my spiritual being up, make it stronger, unless I'm willing to experience some discomfort in my daily schedule. Reading my Bible for 5 minutes every day doesn't really cut it.

It isn't easy. But I know what to do.

So why am I not training harder for the race that really matters?

2 more weeks...

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These are definately all getting better... when I actually take time to spend time on them. But they do continue to improve!

Laughing

I laughed a lot today. My favorite time I laughed was during observation this morning.

The kids have gotten to know me by now, and aren't afraid to whisper to me when the teacher isn't paying attention. So today, one of the girls goes "Pst, Liz. Come here" with a silly grin on her face.
Me: *Whispering* What?
Her: *Whispering* Closer!
Me: What?
Her: Are you a Christian?
Me: Well, yeah, I am. Why?
Her: Oh. I though only Hispanic people could be Christians.

I held it together long enough to get out of the classroom. Oh, the joy of children, and the joy of laughter!

Surrender

"I don't want to talk about surrender, I don't want to talk about surrender... shoot. I have to talk about surrender."

This is what has been running through my mind lately as I've felt the need to write a new post. The past hour I was in Catacombs, a really cool worship service my school does from 10-11 each sunday night. It is all acoustic, no lights, and a good mix of traditional and contemporary music. A lot of the songs tonight were about surrender. A lot of today has been about surrender. It started off this morning, with a dream.

I'm not going to get into the details, but the dream had a lot of things that I don't have, but have been searching for. It honestly made me slightly depressed when I woke up. Then, in church, I had to leave in the middle of the serivce because of an overwhelming sense of homesickness. I wanted to go back to my home church so badly it hurt. I spent a good portion of this afternoon trying to figure out my future, and another part having my future plans torn apart by my friends who think they are crazy and can't see how they will ever succeed. Basically, much dwelling on what I don't have occured.

It wasn't good.

I longed after these earthly things.

During Catacombs tonight, I could barely choke out the words to Hillsong's "The Stand". Specifically, the lines that go:
"I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered.
All I have is Yours."

Because it isn't true of my life. I've been holding so much back from God, telling him that no, this is mine. I want this. Don't take it away from me. It's what You want for me, right God? But it isn't.

He doesn't want me worrying about my future. He doesn't want me dwelling on what I don't have. He doesn't want me discouraged by this world and it's difficulties. Because He can handle all of it.

I just have to surrender.

Over halfway done with lent!!

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Verse a day #3

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Books!

This is from an amazing little bookstore in Salem that I discovered today!

Taking up my cross

I have been reading a lot lately in my Bible, devotionals, and hearing in Church about persecution and trials. I became convinced that I am supposed to go to Africa and die young for Christ. Not that that bothered me too much (though it actually does), but I am willing, no matter what, to take up my cross and follow Him. Whether that means my early death or no.

But then I watched "Waiting for Superman", a documentary on the American Public School system. While I was watching, I felt overwhelmed, depressed by the vastness of the problem our educational system is in. It is a feeling I've been struggling with a lot this year, so I wasn't surprised to feel it return.

As I sat there in my hopeless despair, I heard a very quiet, very soft voice ask "Are you willing to take up your cross and follow Me?"

It was so humbling. No, I can't do anything for these schools on my own, and yes, the problem is enormous. Crazy enormous. But that is my trial in life. I do not expect to be a Christian rewarded for my faith in this life, one who  "Through faith conquered kingdoms...shut the mouth of lions, quenched the fury of flames, and escaped  the edge of the sword...Women recieved back their dead, raised to life again". I fully expect to be "faced [with] jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword". (Hebrews 11:33-37) Not literally (I hope). Either way, I choose to take up my cross. And I choose to follow God.

More Verse a Day

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I really like some of these, and I really don't like others. But I have to share all of them. Please comment, criticize, share whatever you want!

(I realize that Day 9 is hard to read... it says "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit".

Phoenix Tears

Sophomore year of High School, I began writing a book. I didn't even finish the first chapter. This has happened many, many times to me, both before and since. Apparently, though, something about this book was different. I became inspired about a week or so back, and have begun writing the book again (I had emailed it to myself a while ago, and was able to dig through old emails til I found it).

None of my stories I've ever shared with anyone. None of them have had enough substance. Phoenix Tears certainly doesn't. Not yet. And it may never. But there is something about my writings that has gotten me to thinking.

But before I get to that, a very brief explanation about the name. As legend has it, Phoenix's have many incredible abilities. One is their ability to heal otherwise fatal wounds with their tears. Pretty cool, huh? Now, on to my deep-thinking-ness. (No, I am not going to tell you any more about my story. You'll have to buy the book!)

I am fantastic at creating the perfect character. It is not difficult for me to write someone with no flaws, no weaknesses, no Achilles heel, so to speak. Those characters have no depth. They are shallow, people without definition, without strength, and honestly, they are really annoying. Sure, writing a story about the perfect guy falling in love with the perfect girl (or even a flawed girl, writing as I see myself) would be easy. I could probably have it done by tomorrow. But I would hate the story after the first chapter. His perfection would get old really quickly. Not because perfection is bad, but because it isn't realistic.

I am flawed.

Now, this isn't something I'm proud of. Life would be so much simpler were I not. Then again, look at the one person who has lived a flawless life. It wasn't exactly simple for Jesus. We killed Him for being perfect, being exactly who He claimed to be, because we weren't able to handle that. It is only because He died for me that my flaws are forgiven. No one wants to read a book about a main character who lives a flawed life and never experiences any forgiveness. What kind of story would that be?

Not the kind that my Author is writing for me.

A verse a day

So I'm in the Boston Logan airport, have been for the past four hours, and my flight is delayed, so I'll be here for another 2 or so. I'm not saying that that is the only reason I'm updating my blog, but if the shoe fits... Anyways. Part of my Lent resolution is that everyday I was going to have a verse of the day, and a reason behind the verse. Mostly to help me meditate on the Bible more and get into it, but also partly because of these verses:
"Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Matthew 25:28-30.

I don't always use my talents. I don't like to admit I have them all the time. I bury them in the ground, hide them away. But I love photography. And I have been told that it is a talent of mine. So this lent, for my verse a day, I am making the verse into a picture. I hope to multiply my talent, make it greater than when my master left. I hope to be a good and faithful servant. Therefore, I present to you, my first three verses...

Day 1: Ash Wednesday. I wore ashes on my forehead all day in memory that I am dust and I will be dust again when I die. I am mortal.

Day 2: The day my stomach begins to rumble, and I begin to really crave chocolate. But I will not complain. I held to this one because I do complain a lot, and it isn't healthy.

Day 3: My knee has been throbbing all day. That worries me a lot. Mostly because I've been in remission from Arthritis for years now, and there is no way that I can fathom it coming back. It terrifies me. Besides, I've been worrying about many many things lately that do not need to worry me.

There are the first three. I'll post the next bunch in a few days, when I have more to post. :)

Dive

I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I want to be. Caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head I want to go. The river's deep, the river's wide,

The river's water is alive. So sink or swim, I'm diving in.
 ~Dive, Steven Curtis Chapman

Lent begins today. I decided to give up a few different things-- certain dietary decisions, appearance related, spiritual health, restoring creation, etc. I'm going pretty "extreme" this year. In the past I've given up chocolate, or junk food, or soda. All really good resolutions in their own right and for the time I was in at those points in my life. This year I wanted to do it differently though. I haven't been satisfied with how I've been spending my time, what I've been putting into my body, how I've treated myself and those around me.

Without going into great detail I'd like to share a little bit about why I chose each resolution, and what I hope to learn from it. So, without further ado, my lent plans:

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. I need to respect my body more. Some of the junk I've been putting into it is just not good. I decided to begin watching what I eat, only allowing myself to eat certain foods. On the same note, I haven't been disciplining myself with working out. I haven't actually gotten to the gym very much at all this year.

I spend way to much time each day doing my make-up, hair, making sure I look okay, and just am too concerned with my appearance all together. Which is why I'm not allowed to wear make-up, put any styling products in my hair or straighten it. If I don't spend time on my appearance, I won't allow myself to worry about it throughout the day. So if you see me any time soon and think I look more hippie, it is because I don't need to waste time on how I look.

Restoring God's creation is a smaller part of Lent this year. I will recycle and take shorter showers because they are both easy, and I need to be a steward of the creation that God has entrusted me with.

Finally, the big part: Spiritual health. I haven't been that close with God lately, have been putting him on the backburner a bit. No good. I'm being more intentional about reading my Bible every morning, making sure I get to church, getting offline more and spending all my extra time with God.

This'll be interesting. It'll be hard. It's gonna be exciting. I cannot wait.

I think I can, I think I can...

...but I can't. Not on my own, at least.

I'm very proud. It's pretty bad. I'm also really good at hiding when I'm hurting, sick, annoyed, etc. About a week or two after winter break ended, at the beginning of February, I got sick. I had a headache for a solid week, felt nauseous and just all around miserable. No one knew. When I asked for prayer from my small group 2 or 3 weeks after I got sic (because I was still sick), they all were amazed that I had been sick at all. I don't generally want to open up and ask for help.

I can't do it on my own. Heck, I can't do anything on my own. I did all I could to get better from whatever I had (except going to the doctor...). Nothing I tried made the slightest difference. I had to slow down, ask God for help, and realize that I can't control even my own body.

It was quite humbling.

I hated it.

I wish I had control of myself. I don't like relying on anything, and I don't like having to trust anyone (both of which I think I've talked about in past posts). I need to learn to rely more on God and less on me.

Because I cannot do this without Him.

Confidence

Forgive me if I'm not completely coherent today (as opposed to... what? I'm rarely coherent. But that's besides the point). I've been pumping copious amounts of vitamin C through my body these past few days trying to get over whatever has been bothering me for the past, oh, 2, maybe 3 weeks? So again, forgive me if this post doesn't make sense.

I wrote ^ that paragraph, then was going to move on to whatever I had already written as the title... confidence. Shoot.

So, please allow me to rewrite that. Forgive me if I don't write as elegantly as I normally do today. I've been a tad under the weather, and little scatterbrained. It should still be good though

See, I write that and feel stuck up.(begin snotty, stuck-up accent here) Oooh, I'm such a good writer. I rock. Read myyyy blog! (end annoying accent) Besides, I don't think my blog is really that good. And I'm ok with that.

But confidence. Getting back on track. (You can tell my brain isn't quite working yet today. I'm jumping all over the place). I had a really good conversation with one of my good guy friends over winter break about relationships, guys and girls, and confidence. He told me that often really pretty girls aren't that attractive to him because they have no self-confidence. One of the biggest turn offs for him is when girls are constantly worrying how they appear to others. Likewise, I realized, I am often attracted to the guys who know who they are, and have accepted themselves. My friends (guy and girl) that I allow myself to get closer to, the ones I enjoy hanging out with, are people who love themselves. They don't have to put on a mask.

Now, I know everyone has self-confidence issues. I feel like a huge hypocrite writing this. I'm super good at pretending that I'm confident, when I'm not. But it's ok. I may not love who I am all of the time, but when I realize something I'm not happy about, I work to change it (in a healthy, non destructive manner). And I love who I am. Because you know what? God doesn't make mistakes. But he did make me. And he made you too.

God is CAPTIVATING

I've been reading this book, Captivating, by John and Staci Eldredge, and finished it today. I thought it was fitting, seeing as it is Valentine's day and all. In the book, they describe the longing all women have to be romanced, and our wish to be wooed. Unfortunately, being single, I've lately felt like I've been missing out on that part of my life. Valentines day is a perfect day to reflect on how great God is and how He loves me more than any man will ever be able to.

All throughout High School, I was content without a boyfriend (with the exception, of course, dating Jeremy. But even while dating him, I could stand alone, and was fine when we broke up), knowing how few High School relationships last. When preparing to come to college, everyone told me that I would come here and find my husband, then get married right out of college. Well, all you who found your husband the 1st week of college, that is awesome. But it didn't happen to me (as far as I know...) After all that, naturally, I assumed, once I got here, that there would be men galore, fawning and fighting over me. Fortunately, that was not the case.

I have a longing to be romanced. All women do. That is why Captivating was so amazing for me. It opened my eyes to see that God is constantly romancing me. The night I finished the chapter on God romancing us, I walked outside and saw big, slow, picture-perfect snowflakes falling ever so gently from the sky. I love snow. I prefer the cold to overpowering heat too. I laughed out loud as I spun in the snow, then fell backwards into the soft powder. As I lay there, I knew that I didn't need any man pursuing me, at least not yet. I could be absolutely fine being loved on by God. I felt that He provided the snow just then for me, because He loves me. So this Valentine's day, I'm going on a date with God. To all my single women out there, don't give up hope. There's someone amazing there for you. And for now, let God embrace you, love you, and be your Valentine!

Intro to my Education

For my Elementary Ed major, I'm in a class this semester called Intro to Education. We have 1.5 hours of class every Tuesday morning, then we go into a school in Lynn to observe for a few hours Thursday mornings. This past Thursday was our first day in Harrington school! I got the jitters, woke up 5 times in the 2 hours before I was supposed to get up (which only happens when I am nervous or absolutely have to get up early), got up at 6am and went to school! It was amazing.

Background of Harrington school: last year it was declared below national standards because it failed the MCAS (standardized test for the state of MA), 90% of it's students are on free or reduced lunch because they are living in poverty, and I'm not sure the exact number, but it has a high percentage of students for whom English is not their first language. Lynn, the city it is located in, has more than double the percent of people living under the poverty rate than the state of MA. Most of those are children. Basically, it is not a prime place to live or raise a family.

I was placed in a fourth grade classroom, and will go back for 7 more Thursdays. I loved it. The children were amazing. At the same time, I was humbled beyond belief. I was terrified out of my mind. I walked out of the classroom with a huge smile on my face and a weight in my soul. I have no idea what I'm doing.

The teacher I was placed with had me read an entry from one of her students' journal. The entry began something like, "There were gunshots outside my house last night" and went on to tell how the police had come and hadn't caught anyone, but how she was familiar with this type of scene by now. I was floored. How do students learn when they have that sort of thing going on at home??

That night I had a bit of a panic attack. I realized that I am an 18-year-old, white female from a affluent home and wealthy community. I've never had to deal with any of the things these kids deal with on a daily basis. How could I make any difference? How could I survive in a setting that is such a polar opposite from what I grew up in? How could I teach them, love them and be someone they can always depend on all at once? These thoughts, and so many more, flew around my mind on an endless loop. I was up at 1:30AM trying to figure everything out, feeling discouraged, depressed and hopeless. I was ready to give up and change my major, or give up my dream of teaching in an inner city school, and find some wealthy students with no baggage who love learning.

I decided to shower, because that's what I do when I need to ponder deep thoughts. When I was in the shower, I could feel myself becoming more discouraged. That was when I realized that Satan wanted me to feel discouraged and down on myself. If I allowed myself to sink into this misery, he would win. I suddenly became really encouraged. Yes, I was still terrified, and still am. But my future holds enough weight in the view of eternity that the devil is trying to bring me down and not allow me to do it.

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:32. I will be attacked. I will be discouraged. I will be fought against. But with God on my side, I cannot lose. I cannot fail. I have no idea what I'm doing, but that's what I'm at school for. I have time to learn still. Besides, I have the God who created the world on my side. I'll be absolutely fine.

Almost Perfect

I donated blood two days ago. It was the 4th time I've done it, so I'm pretty much a pro by now. So when they told me after I donated to sit in the canteen and eat some food for 15 minutes, leave my bandaid on for 5 hours and not do any heavy lifting for 24 hours, I listened to them... almost. I sat in the canteen for 8 minutes, took my bandaid off after 3 1/2 hours to clean and put another bandaid on, and was prepared to lift my box of clothes (40 lbs) from the mail room all the way back to my room 30 minutes later, had it been there. I figured those times were close enough. And there were no negative repercussions. I am absolutely fine.

It isn't just donating blood where I often take an "almost" approach. I almost finished my homework for Monday. I almost cleaned my room. I almost got an A in all my classes. There are plenty of things I've almost done, but, for whatever reason, haven't. I almost approached a friend about a decision she'd recently made, but was afraid of confrontation. I almost stopped to help the homeless man on the sidewalk, but I was afraid, being alone and a teenage female. Most of the things I don't do end up being because I'm afraid. These often have negative repercussions.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Peter walks on water. Yes, Jesus did it first, but He's the son of God, while Peter is just a normal guy who usually has normal faith. He is often afraid. But he climbs out of the boat anyways. He doesn't even hesitate. The rest of the guys in the boat were probably as terrified as he was, but it's ok. They can boast that they almost climbed out of the boat. That's impressive, right? Not really.

And it is ok to do things that we are afraid to do. Look at Peter-- he trusts Jesus enough to walk on water, in the middle of a storm. Not only could he drown, he could get struck by lightning, eaten by a shark (do they have those in the Sea of Galilee? Meh, besides the point), get separated from both Jesus and the boat, etc. He trusts. I love what Casting Crowns say in the song "Voice of Truth." "I'll step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, and He's holding out His hand... and the Voice of Truth says 'Do not be afraid.'" Peter didn't drown. He lived to defy death another day, until he was crucified upside down for the sake of the Kingdom, and was taken home to Paradise. What faith. If I had that kind of faith, I would never almost do anything ever again.

Close ups

My camera has a setting called "Close-up". It is probably my favorite setting. I love looking at how detailed our God it. It is easy for us to be held in awe at the rolling ocean, the majestic mountains, the sandy deserts. When we watch a sunset over the sea (or sunrise if you are on the East coast like I am), we are inspired. We look at the forest and praise our Father, but we miss the trees for it. We look at the big, majestic, impressive picture. But it is easy to miss the tiny, intricate details that are equally fascinating and beautiful. God is such an artist, His works don't become blurry the closer you look at them, or just fade into pixels. I love what Sivananda says about details, that "A mountain is composed of tiny gains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts." Next time it snows, realize how unique each snow flake really is. If you go for a walk in the woods, check out the little details. Yes, notice the big picture. But notice all the little details God included for your joy and wonder.