Taking up my cross

I have been reading a lot lately in my Bible, devotionals, and hearing in Church about persecution and trials. I became convinced that I am supposed to go to Africa and die young for Christ. Not that that bothered me too much (though it actually does), but I am willing, no matter what, to take up my cross and follow Him. Whether that means my early death or no.

But then I watched "Waiting for Superman", a documentary on the American Public School system. While I was watching, I felt overwhelmed, depressed by the vastness of the problem our educational system is in. It is a feeling I've been struggling with a lot this year, so I wasn't surprised to feel it return.

As I sat there in my hopeless despair, I heard a very quiet, very soft voice ask "Are you willing to take up your cross and follow Me?"

It was so humbling. No, I can't do anything for these schools on my own, and yes, the problem is enormous. Crazy enormous. But that is my trial in life. I do not expect to be a Christian rewarded for my faith in this life, one who  "Through faith conquered kingdoms...shut the mouth of lions, quenched the fury of flames, and escaped  the edge of the sword...Women recieved back their dead, raised to life again". I fully expect to be "faced [with] jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword". (Hebrews 11:33-37) Not literally (I hope). Either way, I choose to take up my cross. And I choose to follow God.