No Facebook November: A reflection

4 hours!! 4 hours left until I'm allowed back on Facebook! Going without Facebook this month has been, well, really nice. I've been able to be really productive, which in turn means I've been stressing about homework less, which is awesome. It's been fairly easy to stay off of Facebook after the initial couple days until about yesterday afternoon. That's when I realized that I was almost done and allowed back on. I re-introduce Facebook in 4 hours, but after tonight I'm setting strict rules on how much time I'm allowed to spend on each day so I don't end up exactly how I was before November-- addicted, thinking about my day in status updates, anxious if I haven't checked it in a few hours.

I think it will be hard to moderate my time on when I get back though. It seems easier to just cut it out all together, avoid all temptation, than to be constantly checking myself to make sure I wasn't wasting too much time.

However, despite not wasting my time on Facebook, I've realized I began now wasting my time watching TV online or playing Tetris. Which makes me wonder how I can possibly eliminate all of my distractions and start actually being super productive. Sure, I've been more productive, but not as much as I had hoped. Having friends to keep me accountable was a huge part-- everyone would know and get on my case if I so much as peeked on Facebook. Because I don't want to let my friends down or "betray" them, I've abstained. But that doesn't mean I've stopped watching an episode of Psych every day.

Basically, what I'm saying is that though, yes, I cut out Facebook, but even with that, I'm a work in progress. I'm still working. We'll see how it goes. I'll keep you updated!

Thanksgiving

I know, I know; it's cliche. But hey, there are things I'm thankful for. So I decided to make a list of a few things I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for much more than just this, but here's a start :) (These are in no particular order)

1. Friends. I could go on and on about my friends, but instead I thought I'd make sub points. (Couldn't figure out how to make supoints... so that's what #2 is)
2. a. When I can call them in the middle of the night just to talk.
   b. When they make me tea that they've been excited to save for finals because they know that I've had a rough week and am stressed.
   c. Who I can simply sit in silence with, and be comfortable with.
   d. Who will drive me to the airport at 5:45 in the morning.
   e. Who write me notes to make me smile.
   f. A roomate who is also a friend.
3. A family, biological and not, that cares about me and loves me, whether I deserve it or not.
4. Fun hats.
5. Tea and its many different flavors (if you want to get me a Christmas gift, try tea ;))
6. My Bible, and the freedom to proclaim my faith and go to a Christian college.
7. Music.
8. A weekend at home with my family and extended family.
9. Becoming "Elizabeth" and "Bip" for a weekend again.
10. Not having to go through a full body scan or patdown as I flew out of Boston yesterday.
11. Jane Austen, J.K. Rowling, Francine Rivers, and other authors.
12. Coloring books.
13. Socks.
14. My siblings.
15. Photography, Picnik and Photoshop.
16. Alliteration (and Poetry-- writing it, reading it, loving it)
17. Joy
18. Beginning to decorate for Christmas and listening to Christmas music.
19. Sleeeeeeeep. And a comfortable bed.
20. Disney movies.
21. My laptop.
22. Every pageview that I get on this blog.
23. Good smelling things.
24. Long showers (without having to wear flipflops)
25. Swimming pools.
26. Dried flowers. Live flowers too. Especially lilacs or roses.
27. Pie (and my tv shows. Random? Kinda. Not when one is Pushing Dasies though! Mentalist, Glee, Psych are the ones showing now).
28. LOVE
29. Nalgene water bottles.
30. Knowledge that God loves me, has a plan for me, and has more in store for me than I could ever imagine!

So I could go on and on, but I'm ready to fall into a food coma for the next few hours. And I don't want to bore you to death. Happy thanksgiving!! Don't forget to be thankful, and appreciate what you have instead of focusing on what you want!

You've got mail!

As a college student, there is not much that brightens my day more than mail. When I check my mailbox and see letter or a package slip, I have to smile. I love these little bits of evidence that someone loves me (or whatever I ordered off Amazon has come in)! I really appreciate letters, because they take time to sit down, write out, then whoever wrote it must find an envelope and stamps, then go to the post office. Sure, an email is faster, but so much less personal.

Letters can also be really encouraging. I got a letter recently from a new-ish friend that totally made my day. It was encouraging and uplifting, and it helped me relax, destressify and go about the day a little bit more calmly. Having had a bad day, her letter turned it completely around. I pull it out every once in a while to reread. I have a baggie with all of my letters in it that I pull out once in a while just to read.

So write someone a letter (especially college students!). Encourage them. You never know what difference it could make.

Just a short snippet today, but that's ok, because I have to go finish packing so I can go home tomorrow morning!! :)

p.s. I would love letters, but I'm not really comfortable giving out my address here... send me a text or look up on Facebook my address if we're friends and you want my address :) Give me yours and I'll (try to) send you some letters!

Death

Way to be, Liz. Way to bring up a depressing, serious subject. Well, this blog is about me sharing whatever I'm thinking, and I've been thinking about Death a lot lately. And not in that morbid, depressing way that I think they ask you about on those "anonymous tests" they make you take in high school. The ones that basically ask you if you do drugs, drink, or are depressed. I don't know if they are only a recent thing or what, but they are so annoying and take forever to fill out. One I took my junior year had been right after a classmate died, so I am very curious to how the results to the "I have thought about death often in the past month (Completely true/Mostly True/ No Opinion/ Mostly False/ Completely false)" turned up for our school. But random side tanget aside, death sucks.

I've known people who died. I never knew either of my grandfathers, my Omi (dad's mom) died when I was 8 or so, my G'ma (mom's mom) died when I was 13, and my Aunt Betty died when I was 14. At my high school graduation in Libertyville, we remembered the 3 young men who were supposed to graduate with our class, but had died. Most recently, November 5, 2010, my good friend Emily's dad Jim, who him and his whole family have been really influential in my life, lost a long-fought battle with cancer.

I know that Jim is now cancer-free, laughing and living with Jesus (who probably knows some pretty legit magic tricks that He's teaching Jim). Despite knowing that, however, I wish he hadn't died. I wish he could've gotten better and stayed around here on earth for a while. He had such a ministry, such an impact on everyone that he met. I don't understand why good people are taken away so young, when they have so much left to contribute to the world, when you know that if they lived all they did would be furthering God's kingdom. Isaiah 57: 1-2 helps shed a little bit of light on it. "The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death." Looking at this verse and Miriam's (Jim's wife) CaringBridge blog, reading her strenght and faith in the midst of all that happened, gives some comfort. I have really looked up to the entire Mohler family as they've struggled through this pain.

What are people going to say about me when I'm dead? If I died tomorrow, would I ever really have lived? I have a bucket list with so many things I've never done. Sure, I've crossed off a whole 2 things on the list, but what does that entail? What legacy would I leave? No one is going to look at my life and say "Wow, she spent so much time everyday picking out outfits and her hair was always so perfect. I really look up to her." Then again, would anyone say "Wow, she spent so much time in her Bible every day and always was so strong in her faith. I really look up to her.

"I'm not looking for sympathy responses-- I don't want you to tell me all the great qualities you love about me or how much you would miss me if I died. I want to know for myself that I'm living each day faithful and strong in my faith, loving completely and taking chances. I don't know when I'm going to die, but I want my life to have meant something. I want people to remember me as they remember Jim Mohler. I want to leave a legacy like he did. If any Mohlers are reading this, I love you all so so much, and am praying for you all. Thank you for being such a positive influence in all aspects of my life. I love you.

NYC!! (And losing God)

Backstory: My parents' good friend ran in the New York marathon with the Chilean miner, the couple who renewed their wedding vows at the 17 mile marker, Minnie Mouse and Waldo (yes, we saw all of them). So my parents decided that, since they love me and I conveniently go to college close-ish to NYC, that they would buy me a train ticket so I could come visit them! Saturday morning I took a train downtown Boston, hopped 2 quick subways to my next train station, then spent 4 hours on a train to NYC.

I had a super productive weekend: On the ride up, I finished tons of homework, while there I saw my 1st marathon, crossed off something from my bucket list (See Phantom of the Opera on Broadway!!! Soooo good!! But that might just be because I'm absolutely obsessed with it), saw Kristin Chenoweth on Broadway (be jealous, be soooo jealous. She rocks.), took about 250 pictures, did touristy downtown things, went to Times Square and Ground Zero, caught a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty (and the lego one), oh, and I saw my parents too. It was splendid! My favorite quote from the weekend was, as my mom and I were walking, a guy came and asked us if we were interested in a comedy show and drinks. My mom replied that I'm underage, to which the guy said "That's ok. We take fake IDs of all kinds!" It made me laugh :)

As we traipsed about New York City, I looked around and saw buildings, people, sites I had never seen before. I stayed close to my parents, afraid of being lost in the big city, separated by the crowd. Even if I was separated, however, I figured I could hold my own until I found them agian. I had made it from Boston to New York all by myself! I was strong, confident, secure. Foolish? Ok, yes, probably.

I think we treat God that way a lot... we stick close to him for security, a guiding hand through the busy, crazy world. But if we slip up, lose him for a moment, we think we can do it on our own. "I've made it this far in my life without God," we might say. "If I go a different way for a moment, it won' t be that big of a deal. Right?" Wrong. Had I lost my parents in downtown NYC, chances of me finding them again, had I not had a cell phone, slim to none. It would be nearly impossible. I would've found it hard even to get back to the apartment on my own, hoping to meet up with them there.

But there's good news. If you get distracted for a moment by all the stores around you, the flashing lights, the tall buildings and street performers (and the cute boys), and you lose God, He knows you are missing. He looks for you. He calls your cell phone, again and again. He won't rest until you are back with him. While you are lost and being bustled around by the millions of people around you, He knows. As Matthew West puts it in his song "More", "Just a face in the city, just a tear on the crowded street, but you are one in a million, and you belong to Me. And I want you to know, I'm not letting go, even when you come undone." Even when we turn towards the Phantom, Raoul is there to stop us before we go with him (sorry, I'm listening to the movie soundtrack [because I'm obsessed, note above] and had to throw that in).

So there's just a little something to think about as you sit there Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again (In New York). Ok, I'm a little infatuated. But I'm done now. Promise. Although at this point I'm probably Past the Point of No Return. Gahh. Ok, I'm just going to stop while I'm behind. I'll probably post something else soon... we'll see. First I should study some for my rather unfortunately large Old Testament test on Friday!

p.s. Thank you to all who have been reading Pure Joy! And to whoever posted this link on the Gordon Facebook page-- thank you!! All I Ask of You is that I'd love to know who you are :)

Home

Tonight I was walking back from a friend's dorm to Ferrin, my dorm. As I looked up at the big building, I smiled and thought "I haven't been home much today." Home. I now refer to my dorm room at Gordon College as home. And it has become my home: the place I run to when I am stressed, where I can curl up with a good book and a mug of cocoa, where I can run and dance and be insane, where I sleep each night and can get hugs from my roommate. I feel comfort, secure in my room, I recognize the now-familiar wardrobes and desks.

Webster's Dictionary defines home as "one's place of residence". I don't agree completely with that-- that can be a house. I prefer their 3rd definition of the word better, however; "a familiar or usual setting". But that still doesn't encompass the simple word that is "home". The best way I could define home is imagine you are lost in Australia and have one free ticket back to where ever you want to go, but you have to stay there once you are there. Where would you go? Probably not the best analogy, but I think it gets my point across.

At the beginning of the year, right after moving in to Ferrin, I felt homesick. I wanted nothing more than to go somewhere familiar with familiar faces. I missed the sights, smells and sounds I was so used to. Not having my family around me all the time was bizzare. The 1st night at Gordon (post La Vida, in my actual dorm), my mom texted me "sleep well in your new home". But it wasn't home, not yet.

I've been asked what I think heaven is going to look like. I have no idea, but I know it's going to be far far better than anything I could come up with. But I believe that it is going to have that feeling of going home after a long vacation: the vacation itself was fun and interesting, but you are so ready for that familiar bed, your favorite mug or book you didn't pack, to see your best friend again, the chair that has your imprint from you curling up on it so often. Heaven will be home.

Gordon has become a bit of home for me. The faces that are becoming familiar so quickly, the my 3rd dresser drawer that is slightly tilted and so doesn't close all the way, the pub/cafe on campus my roommate Angela and I study in before our Old Testament tests.

Sorry this is random and scattered... I have so much more I could write about with home, but I feel this might be long enough.